Author of the world's shortest poem:
On the Antiquity of Microbes
Adam had'em.
Another poet (name unknown) wrote "Maid's Day Off":
Thurs.
Hers.
Also the author of the world's longest poem flaming parsley, which destructs like this:
...Now is the time for all good parsley-phobes to come to the aid of the menu and exhibit their gumption,
And proclaim that any food which has a taste and/or an appearance which can be improved by parsley is ipso-facto a dish unfit for human consumption.
And also author of a short ode to parsley...
Parsely.
Is gharsley.
THE DUCK
Behold the duck.
It does not cluck.
A cluck it lacks.
It quacks.
It is 'specially fond
of a puddle or pond.
When it dines or sups
it bottoms ups.
See also: http://www.westegg.com/nash/
And now, for a few of our favorites:
The firefly's flame
Is something for which science has no name.
I can think of nothing eerier
Than flying around with an unidentified glow on a person's posteerior.
(edited referencing "Good Intentions" Little, Brown & Co., 1942)
While you lolly hammock-wise
It contemplates you stomach-wise.
You lolly. It lollops.
The rest is only gulps and gollops.
Tell me o Octopus, I begs
Is those things arms or is they legs?
A panther is like a leopard
except it hasn't been peppered
should you behold a panther crouch
prepare to say ouch
better yet, if called by a panther
don't anther.
This is my dream,
It is my own dream,
I dreamt it.
I dreamt that my hair was kempt.
Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.
Candy
Is dandy.
But liquor
Is quicker.
The one-L lama,
He's a priest.
The two-L llama,
He's a beast.
And I will bet
A silk pajama
There isn't any
Three-L lllama.*
Don't forget the footnote, which runs something like this: "The author's attention has been drawn to the kind of conflagration known as a 'three-alarmer.' Pooh."
Absolutely no influence on SheChangeDesignInTheDatabase, or SarbanesOxleyAct