A comedian of few words, and many insights - http://www.stevenwright.com/index.shtml
- Steven Wright Biography
- I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end.
Delivers with a deadpan, lots of short one liners, like:
- I was once walking through the forest alone and a tree fell right in front of me and I didn't hear it.
- For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out...
- I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically
- I put instant coffee in my microwave oven and almost went back in time.
- I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
- Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
- It's a small world - but I wouldn't want to paint it.
- You can't have everything...Where would you put it?
- I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit ...
- When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
- One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by children. They had all the paintings up on refrigerators.
- There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
- OK, so what's the speed of dark?
- What does "definition" mean?