(Warning: List-based BulkHumor follows.)
Signs that you are letting StarTrek leak too far into your work habits:
- Replaced your Enter key with an Engage key.
- If you are in management and have to fire somebody, you say:
- "Kaaaaahn! You are fired!"
- "Our company decided not to assimilate you after all."
- Accidently keep calling attractive female coworkers "7".
- One of them understands the reference and slaps you. (Literally, or with a harassment complaint).
- "Dammit Jim, I am a programmer, not a network administrator!"
- Keep referring to your boss as "Captain".
- If your boss asks you to hurry up to reach a deadline, you say with a Scottish accent: "I'm givin' her all I've got, Captain".
- Multiply estimates by a factor of four.
- An irate user calls and you head over to visit them mumbling to yourself, "Screw 'stun', phasers on 'kill' this time."
- Refer to job interview as "first contact".
- Show up for an interview and ask the receptionist to summon "Cap'n Kirk and Mister Spock"
- Refer to the fax machine as "the paper transporter".
- Or the "flattened sheet of carbon fibers transporter".
- Look at your paycheck and say, "There is no way in hell I'll live long and prosper".
- Refer to a CartesianJoin as "Infinite diversity in infinite combinations".
- Rig your desktop computer to throw sparks and smoke if a program crashes (see PlasmaToTheFace).
- Refer to the marketing department as "the Ferengi".
- Refer to your monitor as "the main viewer".
- Refer to files with "hidden" attribute as "cloaked".
- Refer to over-promised difficult projects as "boldly going where no man has gone before".
- Replace "Women" sign on restroom with "where no man has gone before".
- Keep saying to the coffee machine, "Tea, Earl Grey, Hot!"
- Think wearing red ties will get you canned.
- Refer to the server room as "the engine room".
- The cafeteria is "Ten-Forward"
- The main meeting room is "the bridge"
- Offsite client visit is an "Away mission".
- A vacation is a "Risa visit".
- Keep telling users that you are an explorer and not on a military mission.
- When you get stuck on a project, you immediately try to call Spock via the wall thermostat.
- Double points if he answers.
- Ask coworkers if they want to play Fizzbin after work.
- Keep running into doors because they don't automatically open.
- Try using the voice interface to your computer. Once it has been pointed out that your Boss hasn't installed speech-recognition, and you should use the keyboard, exclaim, "The keyboard. How quaint!"
- "Sorry, boss, I can't come to your office because I am out of transporter range."
- Refer to the phone as a "communicator".
- "Sorry, I can't hear you clearly on this communicator. There must be trionomic radiation on this planet." (80% of the planets they visit seem to have some kind of radiation that blocks their communication or their transporters. It is powerful enough to knock out 24th-century technology but still not fry humans devoid of space suits.)
- You bet 100 Quatloos in the office baseball pool.
- You call a coworker's style KlingonProgramming.
- Extra points if you start programming in a Klingon font.
- A hostile management take-over is considered "assimilation", and the take-over initiators are called "The Borg".
CategoryStarTrek, CategoryHumor, CategoryGetOffMyLawn