A few gems from the developer's craft:
Our project was late,
so we added more people.
The problem got worse.
When requirements changed,
the schedule did not -- were we
headed for trouble?
We were doing fine,
'til they reduced the budget.
Now we're overspent.
We think about risks.
We have contingency plans.
Oops ... but not for that.
I gave estimates.
They cut all of them in half.
Next time I'll pad them.
We can't get it right
and still come in on schedule.
Why can't we do both?
We hired consultants
who told us how to fix things.
They don't understand.
There is no more time,
but the work is unfinished.
Take more time from Test.
The module failed Test,
so first we changed all the Tests.
Now the requirements.
If a project fails
but no one reports it has,
has it really failed?
Schedule, people, scope
Which one is least flexible?
The boss says, "All three!"
I need to go pee
But the PERT chart says that I
Must wait until lunch
Our project's timeline
Was written by StephenKing
Terrifying fiction
Project's almost done
Whoops! The V.P. just got canned
Now we start again!
MicrosoftProject
Lets the pointy haired boss make
Ten-thousand task Gantts.
Work has proceeded
Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter.
Now we start over.