How to use this page
This is a blackboard of sorts -- an expert system where you're the knowledge source. What you know is
- how to rhyme
- how to reason
- how to make the English language go chuggety-chug
- how to be funny
Each section below (bounded by horizontal lines) contains a single work-in-progress. You can start a new limerick with any line, part of a line, rhyme, or idea that you want to get across (expressed in prose, even). You can work on limericks by adding to unfinished ones. You can create variants of finished works or works-in-progress by making a fresh copy with the changes. The only rule is that everything in a single horizontal tier should be about the same limerick.
It's amazing how many WordsSmashedTogetherLikeSo actually scan pretty well. Free dinner at Swanky Frank's to the first person who can compose an entire Lim' out of WSTLS, without inventing any new ones for glue.
Said the can to the beer she embedded,
"O Kind sir, tell me: Where are you headed?
"I just tipped up my hat
"Now you're leaving me flat,
"And I thought with this ring I'd thee wedded."
Though for me it is purely conjecture
(And I'm never the kind who will lecture),
Even refactored code
Crumbles under the load
If you're sans an ExtremeArchitecture
You can get there by browsing or searching,
Or stay here by sitting and perching,
But wherever you go,
Hither, yon, to or fro,
Try to do it with minimal lurching.
Here's one on ExtremeProgramming:
"You aren't gonna need it," said Kent,
"Do the simplest thing that's well meant.
"You knit tests and code,
"pair, measure the load,
"(re)factor with clients present."
I need to do more than fix that line. LoadFactor needs to become ProjectVelocity
A haiku on patterns...
Alexander saw
context, problem, solution.
Plop! Pattern recurs.
It's 5-7-5 all right but I couldn't think of a season word to use. Is there a HaikuMaster in the house? -- BrianEwins
JoelNeely -- I'm not a HaikuMaster, nor do I play one on a TV (Ba)sho, but I recall that one can imply season, as in
Alexander saw
context, problem, solution.
Plop! Pattern re-grows.
(HaiKu! Arrrrgh. This is treason!)
Hehehe. Maybe I should start a rival page, TheHappyHaikuer or HaikuHacking. Only, limericks are (generally) funnier (except mine). Heck, at least they scan, Mr Merel...
To make your verse look a bit finer
You may try using ALT-oh-oh-niner,
Let your friends from Wang Labs
ConvertSpacesToTabs,
Or just...
...stick in a witty one-liner?
From ExperienceWithoutAbstraction:
[...] That's the price of being famous, Ron... You'll know you're there when they start making bawdy ditties about you :-) -- AlistairCockburn
One side, lemmee through, I got it, I got it:
As TheCoach, the extremist RonJeffries
Paired with every staff member of C3's,
But when he felt lonely
He'd OnceAndOnceOnly
Scream "YAGNI!" and "RefactorMercilessly!"
-- PeterMerel, the winnah and still champeen.
When good software is written by teams,
You'll find that they go to eXtremes,
They focus on testing
and doing the best thing
And YAGNI (whatever that means).
WordsSmashedTogetherLikeThis
LinkTo ExtremeHypothesis
AsWeMayThink
EveryWordIsaLink
HowSimpleComplexityIs
-- ShaeErisson
If you fear that they'll get out of line
Your complex Gantt charts may be fine
But I'd put my trust
On the team that can just
Listen, Code, Test, and Design
-- BillBarnett
Yippee! PoemWiki!
On your shoulders we stand proud and tall
As we answer the Wild with our Call,
And yet much malign
In the throes of design,
You, Inveterate Old WaterFall
"I never meant you any harm." --WaterFall
A cunning programmer named Ward
Tired of fetching when everyone stored
Took up knitting and perling
And finally unfurling
This fabulous Bulletin Board!
were i to write a pome of granite
a tree of spar were felled to scan it